Saturday, May 20, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Demons

Enterprise, Season 4
"Demons"
Airdate: May 6, 2005
95 of 97 produced
95 of 97 aired

Introduction

The crew of the Enterprise discovers a group of violent Xenophobes who seek to drive all alien migrants off of the planet Earth.

 

Could a man with such a high-buttoned suit jacket really be all bad?

 

Monday, May 15, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II

Enterprise, Season 4
"In a Mirror, Darkly Part II"
Airdate: April 29, 2005
94 of 97 produced
94 of 97 aired

Introduction

Captain Archer decides to make the Terran Empire great again by using the futuristic USS Defiant to crush its enemies.

 

Terran Girlboss in the house!

 

 

Saturday, April 29, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: In a Mirror, Darkly

 Enterprise, Season 4
"In a Mirror, Darkly"
Airdate: April 22, 2005
93 of 97 produced
93 of 97 aired

Introduction

Commander Jonathan Archer of the ISS Enterprise hatches a plot to steal a weapon of great power from a degenerate alien species, the Tholians.

"Don't take your eyes off that midriff, Sergeant."


Thursday, April 27, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Bound

Enterprise, Season 4
"Bound"
Airdate: March 4, 2002
92 of 97 produced
92 of 97 aired

Introduction

Enterprise takes on three Orion dancing women for some reason.

 


Where have you gone, William Ware Theiss?Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you... woo woo woo.

Thursday, April 20, 2023

Picard, Season 3: The Last Generation

Picard, Season 3
"The Last Generation"
Aired: April 20, 2023
30 of 30 produced
30 of 30 released

Introduction

The Enterprise flies into the Death Star to destroy the core of Star Trek.

 

Kaboom!

Monday, April 17, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Divergence

Enterprise, Season 4
"Divergence"
Airdate: February 25, 2002
91 of 97 produced
91 of 97 aired

Introduction

Phlox races to find a cure for the augment virus, while Malcom and Archer butt heads over Malcolm's secrecy.

 

The diabolical Westmorehead Virus claims another victim.

 

Friday, April 14, 2023

Picard, Season 3: "Võx"

Picard, Season 3
"Võx"
Aired: April 13, 2023
29 of 30 produced
29 of 30 released

Introduction

We finally learn the Big Dark Secret behind Jack Crusher's superpowers. Saddle up, lock and load -- it's really, really dumb.


 Dun dah daaah, dah dun dun dah DAAAAHHHH!!!!!

 

Monday, April 10, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Surrender

 Picard, Season 3
"Surrender"
Aired: April 6, 2023
28 of 30 produced
28 of 30 released

Introduction

We're still on the ship. We're still being held hostage by Vadic. We still don't find out the answers to the "compelling" mysteries of the season.



It just occurred to me, but this scene is quite reminiscent of "Menage A Troi..." an episode that had undergone a rehabilitation for me with the benefit of hindsight and comparison.



Saturday, April 1, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Dominion

Picard, Season 3
"Dominion"
Aired: March 30, 2023
27 of 30 produced
27 of 30 released

Introduction

The bad guys board the USS Titan, and people pretend to have ethical debates. We learn a few drips of information about the antagonists. Somehow, despite the Big Event being mere hours away, it still find a way not to happen within the run time of this episode.


 Maybe no one has complete, coherent conversations because they simply can't see one another, or their scripts?



Thursday, March 30, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Affliction

Enterprise, Season 4
"Affliction"
Airdate: February 18, 2005
90 of 97 produced
90 of 97 aired

Introduction

The Enterprise crew runs into some kidnaping trouble back home on Earth. Trip gets accustomed to his new ship and T'Pol feels his absence. Malcolm experiences a conflict of interest.


 "The first rule of forehead ridges is we do not talk about forehead ridges."

 

Monday, March 27, 2023

Picard, Season 3: The Bounty

Picard, Season 3
"The Bounty"
Aired: March 23, 2023
26 of 30 produced
26 of 30 released

Introduction

At long last every major TNG cast member who is not dead or Traveling the limitless dimensions of the cosmos receives screen time in the same episode. And we are left to question: why did it take six episodes?

 Star Trek Picard: A floating museum of references to things you actually like.


Enterprise, Season 4: The Aenar

Enterprise, Season 4
"The Aenar"
Airdate: February 11, 2005
89 of 97 produced
89 of 97 aired

Introduction

Archer and Shran discover that the operator of the marauding drone vessels is Andorian - but not a run of the mill Andorian. Rather, he is a member of an underground, pacifist sect of Andorians known as the Aenar.

 "I don't think Mark Zuckerberg is ever going to get this Oculus Rift crap to sell, Captain."

 

 

Friday, March 17, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Imposters

Picard, Season 3
"Imposters"
Aired: March 16, 2023
25 of 30 produced
25 of 30 released

Introduction

Starfleet sends an investigator to hash out who did what and who needs to be punished for the last four episodes. Meanwhile, Worf realizes that he murdered his only informant and needs to find another one, while Raffi does donuts in the parking lot with her aggressively spinning wheels.

 

They are really getting their money's worth out of this set.

 

Thursday, March 16, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: United

Enterprise, Season 4
"United"
Airdate: February 4, 2005
88 of 97 produced
88 of 97 aired

Introduction

Shran's lover Talas takes a turn for the worse, which threatens the fragile alliance Archer is forming to fight the unknown marauder.

 

I'm gonna slap chop your ass back to Andoria!

 

Friday, March 10, 2023

Picard, Season 3: No Win Scenario

Picard, Season 3
"No Win Scenario"
Aired: March 9, 2023
24 of 30 produced
24 of 30 released

Introduction

After four hours of "s#$% or get off the pot" storytelling, Picard Season 3 decides in favor of the former and pinches off this loaf.

Pictured: the best lit scene in the season thus far.


Thursday, March 9, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Babel One

Enterprise, Season 4
"Babel One"

Airdate: January 28, 2005
87 of 97 produced
87 of 97 aired

Introduction

Enterprise is interrupted in its mission to mediate a dispute between Tellarites and Andorians by a mysterious attacking vessel. 

 

"Once we force the subject to watch an uninterrupted Discovery/Picard marathon,
their brain will be susceptible to any suggestion we make..."

 

Friday, March 3, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Seventeen Seconds

Picard, Season 3
"Seventeen Seconds"
Aired: March 2, 2023
22 of 30 produced
22 of 30 released

Introduction

Still stuck in the same spot as last episode, Picard Season 3 decides that trashing its characters will pass the time instead of advancing the plot.

 Pictured: What Star Trek will look like after Stewart and Frakes sign away their likeness rights.


Enterprise, Season 4: Observer Effect

Enterprise, Season 4
"Observer Effect"
Airdate: January 21, 2005
86 of 97 produced
86 of 97 aired

Introduction

Two strangers inhabit the bodies of the Enterprise crew during a crisis.

Hoshi Sato, looking the way I feel after an episode of "Picard"
 

Friday, February 24, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Disengage

 Picard, Season 3
"Disengage"
Aired: February 23, 2023
22 of 30 produced
22 of 30 released

Introduction

The Final Frontier gets a lot dumber and far more graphically violent.

 Timepieces used to contain a metal spring that slowly unwound.... SCOTT!!!!!

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Daedelus

Enterprise, Season 4
"Daedelus"
Airdate: January 14, 2005
85 of 97 produced
85 of 97 aired

Introduction

Enterprise is visited by preeminent transporter physicist and inventor Emory Erickson, who wishes to test a radical new transport technology. Or does he?

 

  The.... script.... just won't... materialize!

 

Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Kir'Shara

Enterprise, Season 4
"Kir'Shara"
Airdate: December 3, 2004
84 of 97 produced
84 of 97 aired

Introduction

Archer races to deliver the Kir'Shara to the Vulcan capital before the High Command starts a war against Andoria.

 

Wait, wait, let me just adjust the brightness and turn off motion smoothing...

 

 

Friday, February 17, 2023

Picard, Season 3: The Next Generation

Picard, Season 3
"The Next Generation"
Aired: February 16, 2023
21 of 30 produced
21 of 30 released

Introduction

Well, here we go again, God willing for the last time. Picard receives a distress call one day before retirement from an old flame, Doctor Beverly Crusher.

Pictured: The best thing in the episode.


Tuesday, February 14, 2023

The Picard Season 2 Bitch Session

Against the advice and best efforts of those who care for me, I have finished Picard Season 2 in advance of the new incoming insult season in the next few weeks. I had previously been able to slog my way, over the course of several months, up to the beginning of episode 7. So I was already reasonably aware of the season's deficiencies as a story. On the one hand, it started faster than Season 1, in that the first two episodes introduced a fascist alternate universe that was actually reasonably interesting. Then, when they reached 2024, things bogged down and got both boring and infuriating very quickly.

The show is even more incomprehensible than the poster!


Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Awakening

Enterprise, Season 4
"Awakening"
Airdate: November 26, 2004
83 of 97 produced
83 of 97 aired

Introduction

Archer must deal with the alien presence within his mind, and search a long lost Vulcan artifact in the midst of an aerial bombardment.

Turn around, bright eyes!
 

 

 

Saturday, February 4, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: The Forge

Enterprise, Season 4
"The Forge"
Airdate: November 19, 2004
82 of 97 produced
82 of 97 aired

Introduction

An attack on the Earth Embassy on Vulcan precipitates a search for a mysterious sect of Vulcan dissidents by the Enterprise.


Vulcan, pictured 5 years before it gained a moon in 2009.


Monday, January 30, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: The Augments

Enterprise, Season 4
"The Augments"
Airdate: November 12, 2004
81 of 97 produced
81 of 97 aired

Introduction

As Archer and crew escape Cold Station 12, Soong breaks with his Augment children and helps the Enterprise track them down.


The cold never bothered me, anyway