Thursday, March 30, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Affliction

Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: February 18, 2005
90 of 97 produced
90 of 97 aired


The Enterprise crew runs into some kidnaping trouble back home on Earth. Trip gets accustomed to his new ship and T'Pol feels his absence. Malcolm experiences a conflict of interest.

 "The first rule of forehead ridges is we do not talk about forehead ridges."


Monday, March 27, 2023

Picard, Season 3: The Bounty

Picard, Season 3
"The Bounty"
Aired: March 23, 2023
26 of 30 produced
26 of 30 released


At long last every major TNG cast member who is not dead or Traveling the limitless dimensions of the cosmos receives screen time in the same episode. And we are left to question: why did it take six episodes?

 Star Trek Picard: A floating museum of references to things you actually like.

Enterprise, Season 4: The Aenar

Enterprise, Season 4
"The Aenar"
Airdate: February 11, 2005
89 of 97 produced
89 of 97 aired


Archer and Shran discover that the operator of the marauding drone vessels is Andorian - but not a run of the mill Andorian. Rather, he is a member of an underground, pacifist sect of Andorians known as the Aenar.

 "I don't think Mark Zuckerberg is ever going to get this Oculus Rift crap to sell, Captain."



Friday, March 17, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Imposters

Picard, Season 3
Aired: March 16, 2023
25 of 30 produced
25 of 30 released


Starfleet sends an investigator to hash out who did what and who needs to be punished for the last four episodes. Meanwhile, Worf realizes that he murdered his only informant and needs to find another one, while Raffi does donuts in the parking lot with her aggressively spinning wheels.


They are really getting their money's worth out of this set.


Thursday, March 16, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: United

Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: February 4, 2005
88 of 97 produced
88 of 97 aired


Shran's lover Talas takes a turn for the worse, which threatens the fragile alliance Archer is forming to fight the unknown marauder.


I'm gonna slap chop your ass back to Andoria!


Friday, March 10, 2023

Picard, Season 3: No Win Scenario

Picard, Season 3
"No Win Scenario"
Aired: March 9, 2023
24 of 30 produced
24 of 30 released


After four hours of "s#$% or get off the pot" storytelling, Picard Season 3 decides in favor of the former and pinches off this loaf.

Pictured: the best lit scene in the season thus far.

Thursday, March 9, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Babel One

Enterprise, Season 4
"Babel One"

Airdate: January 28, 2005
87 of 97 produced
87 of 97 aired


Enterprise is interrupted in its mission to mediate a dispute between Tellarites and Andorians by a mysterious attacking vessel. 


"Once we force the subject to watch an uninterrupted Discovery/Picard marathon,
their brain will be susceptible to any suggestion we make..."


Friday, March 3, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Seventeen Seconds

Picard, Season 3
"Seventeen Seconds"
Aired: March 2, 2023
22 of 30 produced
22 of 30 released


Still stuck in the same spot as last episode, Picard Season 3 decides that trashing its characters will pass the time instead of advancing the plot.

 Pictured: What Star Trek will look like after Stewart and Frakes sign away their likeness rights.

Enterprise, Season 4: Observer Effect

Enterprise, Season 4
"Observer Effect"
Airdate: January 21, 2005
86 of 97 produced
86 of 97 aired


Two strangers inhabit the bodies of the Enterprise crew during a crisis.

Hoshi Sato, looking the way I feel after an episode of "Picard"

Friday, February 24, 2023

Picard, Season 3: Disengage

 Picard, Season 3
Aired: February 23, 2023
22 of 30 produced
22 of 30 released


The Final Frontier gets a lot dumber and far more graphically violent.

 Timepieces used to contain a metal spring that slowly unwound.... SCOTT!!!!!

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Daedelus

Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: January 14, 2005
85 of 97 produced
85 of 97 aired


Enterprise is visited by preeminent transporter physicist and inventor Emory Erickson, who wishes to test a radical new transport technology. Or does he?


  The.... script.... just won't... materialize!


Tuesday, February 21, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Kir'Shara

Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: December 3, 2004
84 of 97 produced
84 of 97 aired


Archer races to deliver the Kir'Shara to the Vulcan capital before the High Command starts a war against Andoria.


Wait, wait, let me just adjust the brightness and turn off motion smoothing...



Friday, February 17, 2023

Picard, Season 3: The Next Generation

Picard, Season 3
"The Next Generation"
Aired: February 16, 2023
21 of 30 produced
21 of 30 released


Well, here we go again, God willing for the last time. Picard receives a distress call one day before retirement from an old flame, Doctor Beverly Crusher.

Pictured: The best thing in the episode.

Tuesday, February 14, 2023

The Picard Season 2 Bitch Session

Against the advice and best efforts of those who care for me, I have finished Picard Season 2 in advance of the new incoming insult season in the next few weeks. I had previously been able to slog my way, over the course of several months, up to the beginning of episode 7. So I was already reasonably aware of the season's deficiencies as a story. On the one hand, it started faster than Season 1, in that the first two episodes introduced a fascist alternate universe that was actually reasonably interesting. Then, when they reached 2024, things bogged down and got both boring and infuriating very quickly.

The show is even more incomprehensible than the poster!

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Awakening

Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: November 26, 2004
83 of 97 produced
83 of 97 aired


Archer must deal with the alien presence within his mind, and search a long lost Vulcan artifact in the midst of an aerial bombardment.

Turn around, bright eyes!



Saturday, February 4, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: The Forge

Enterprise, Season 4
"The Forge"
Airdate: November 19, 2004
82 of 97 produced
82 of 97 aired


An attack on the Earth Embassy on Vulcan precipitates a search for a mysterious sect of Vulcan dissidents by the Enterprise.

Vulcan, pictured 5 years before it gained a moon in 2009.

Monday, January 30, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: The Augments

Enterprise, Season 4
"The Augments"
Airdate: November 12, 2004
81 of 97 produced
81 of 97 aired


As Archer and crew escape Cold Station 12, Soong breaks with his Augment children and helps the Enterprise track them down.

The cold never bothered me, anyway

Friday, January 27, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Cold Station 12

Enterprise, Season 4
"Cold Station 12"
Airdate: November 5, 2004
80 of 97 produced
80 of 97 aired


Soong and the Augments invade Cold Station 12, a Starfleet base that contains the remaining genetically engineered Augment embryos.

"I can't believe we're actually here."
"Totally. It's amazing."
"No, I mean I literally can't believe we're here. My visual system won't allow my brain to do it."



Monday, January 23, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Borderland

 Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: October 29, 2004
79 of 97 produced
79 of 97 aired


A group of genetically enhanced miscreants necessitates the Enterprise crew recruiting an unsavory ally.

So do you bumpy-headed dweebs have a Hot Topic in this mall, or what?

Friday, January 20, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Home

Enterprise, Season 4
Airdate: October 22, 2004
78 of 97 produced
78 of 97 aired


The Enterprise crew's return to Earth proves to be less triumphant than they might have hoped.

 Someday, you'll visit Rosseau Five, and many other places, all more spectacular. 'Cause this definitely ain't a real place.


Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Storm Front, Part II

 Enterprise, Season 4
"Storm Front, Part II"
Airdate: October 15, 2004
77 of 97 produced
77 of 97 aired


Archer must lead a clandestine assault on the Space Nazi base, while the Enterprise fends off laser-equipped Stuka bombers in the skies over Manhattan.

Nreeeaaooowwwww.... rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat!!!!!

Saturday, January 14, 2023

Enterprise, Season 4: Storm Front, Part I

Enterprise, Season 4
"Storm Front, Part I"
Airdate: October 8, 2004
76 of 97 produced
76 of 97 aired


Enterprise finds itself on Earth in the past, but one in which the Nazis are winning World War II with alien assistance.


"Ach, but der red states are in all zee wrong places!"



Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Enterprise Season 3 Recap


Star Trek's 9/11 analogue comes to an end with a literal bang. How good was it, and does it represent an improvement over an uneven first two seasons?


Enterprise gives up, puts "Star Trek" in the title, and adds a bossa nova beat. Will it all work?


Monday, January 9, 2023

Enterprise, Season 3: Zero Hour

 Enterprise, Season 3
"Zero Hour"
Airdate: May 26, 2004
75 of 97 produced
75 of 97 aired


Everything comes to a head when Archer and Hoshi must infiltrate the Death Star to destroy it, and the Enterprise crew must risk their own safety to destroy the Sphere network. Also: Space Nazis!




Saturday, January 7, 2023

Enterprise, Season 3: Countdown

Enterprise, Season 3
Airdate: May 19, 2004
74 of 97 produced
74 of 97 aired


Lt. Reed and Major Hayes plan a rescue for Hoshi, while Archer, the Enterprise, and a fleet of allies must try to stop the Xindi weapon.


That's no moon...


Thursday, January 5, 2023

Enterprise, Season 3: The Council

Enterprise, Season 3
"The Council"
Airdate: May 12, 2004
73 of 97 produced
73 of 97 aired


The Enterprise reaches the Xindi Council world, where Archer must plead the case for a draw down of violent intentions among the Xindo towards humankind.

But still doesn't find time to shower or shave, because SERIOUSNESS!